Why is being in a state of depression so comforting and why is it so easy to fall back into a state of depression, or is it because we never fulled healed and made ourselves believe we were happy by telling ourself everyday we are okay. Why is it so difficult to get out of it. Why do we abuse and torture ourselves even though we know we’re not okay. Why do we harm ourselves, is it because numbing the pain is easier than trying to find a solution. 

Is it because we feel like we’ve sunk in to deep already and our path out is a far way ahead of us, which discourages us from finding the motivation to help ourselves. 

I’m falling back, and I can’t help it. And I know a close friend that is too, and I wish I could do something to help that person because I right now care more about that person’s life than mine. 

We as womyn have to worry about what can happen to us on the streets/ where ever we go, and then when we try to avoid the ones harassing us and mind our own business, we’ll get disrespected. 

and don’t give me that shit about how it’s girl’s fault for what they wear and how they’re asking for it. FUCK YOU DUDE. Don’t give me that shit, nobody deserves to be sexually harassed, attacked, degraded, dehumanized, raped, and attacked. 

If you think i’m over fucking reacting how about you live in a neighborhood and street where it’s notoriously well known for picking up ” ho’s ” and let me see how you feel when you have to travel by foot everyday. Put yourself in a womyn’s shoes. Have your mom get gunfuckingpointed at her second job and have your sisters robbed and gunpointed at your own doorsteps.

Maybe if there hasn’t been a well known case about a rapist on the loose here, stabbing, and had the privilege in living a white neighborhood sure I’ll laugh it off and brush it off too. Not really. 

And if you think that shit is fucking okay to honk more than twice and then turn around the corner to slow down and try to say something and then have somebody else also walk by you and approach you, K i’ll just brush it off, not like that shit doesn’t happen everyday anyways. And when the day if I do get attacked too, yeah I’m gonna brush it off too. 

I am just so sick of how men around here just view girls as sex symbols. You’re not fucking hollering at me, you’re whistling at me because it’s something grown to be normal around here for womyn to be sexually and physically abused and you view me as less than a human being but something okay to honk at. AND SO THE FUCK WHAT IF I SOUND LIKE A FEMINIST, I’M MAD? HOW ABOUT THE DAY YOUR LITTLE SISTER OR MOM GETS SEXUALLY HARASSED YOU CAN TELL HER TO HER FACE IT’S HER FAULT FOR BEING BORN A WOMYN, and not the guy’s fault because we, the girls provoked it. 

I have the right to feel frustrated. 

fuck all ya’ll. 

alfiebooty:

Being gay doesn’t suck. Not being accepted by the people around you sucks.

Have you ever met someone 

And they’re so fucking perfect in every way.

And maybe they aren’t perfect to everybody, but to you they’re just absolutely amazing.

The way they laugh and smile and talk and think and look and just everything about them and everything they do just keeps amazing you.

(via alfiebooty)

Been heavy on my heart lately… Well actually a lot of things have been heavy on my heart lately, and It’s hard to handle all at once. I know it’s not a big deal really, I think It’s just time for me to have a little vent again. 

I was fine and was over it for like a good year or so. I don’t even know why I’m so hurt cause it’s not like things would be different or anything if I did know or not. 

I never had the nerves to ask my Mom if she still loved my dad but when we were at the restaurant just my sister and her eating and my sister randomly asked that and my mom said yes, I for some reason couldn’t hold back my tears. It really hurt me inside. I have seen my long depressed for so long and It’s just not fair. 
I actually thought she stopped caring about him or been over him way before I was even born. I really thought she hated him. 

Just knowing she still loves him makes it hard to believe if she’ll ever be genuinely happy. How can you be happy when the one you still love has always been with other women or has neglected you and your family. I just feel like I’m back at square one again when I was barely trying to cope with my dad really finally leaving.

Think what Im trying to say is.. When am I ever going to get to see my mom happy? Not that things are any different now, it’s just finding out she does still love him kinda changes my perspective about everything now and how I feel like there could be hope about all of us being a family and have the pair of parents I didn’t grow up with. I just want to see my parents together…. that’s all. I mean I guess I know that won’t ever happen, but for once I just want to see her genuinely okay. There has never been a day where she doesn’t stress, relax, or sit there in and I can’t not see the pain she silences. I understand, they both share a huge history together. Not everybody stays together with the person they fell in love with. I wish my Dad understood. How hard it was for her to raise kids on her own and struggle and do everything on her own, I mean do you even know she still loves you? 

I don’t even know why I’m upset about it, maybe I shouldn’t have found out when my sister asked because usually most of them never really tell me anything. Just hurts me when my mom’s hurt and how she’s been able to keep up with everything for so long and not give up. 

I miss my dad and having a father figure. And I miss my Sara. And Fuck College Rejections lol. 

Hi everybody! My sister is riding in Tour De Cure. Please help raise funds so she can start her journey to fight diabetes! If she fails to raise $225 she cannot participate! It’s a good cause, and the littlest amount would mean a lot! ( Even though the minimum donation is $5 lol ) Not only will you and her be making an effort for change and difference, it will also be a great experience for her too. 

If you wouldn’t mind helping donate and help my sister on this journey you can donate here!

https://donations.diabetes.org/site/Donation2?idb=3170196&df_id=11495&11495.donation=form1&FR_ID=8674&PROXY_ID=8505610&PROXY_TYPE=20

What would I do without dancing. 

shut up kid i know ur starving but there are white girls in america without iphones

(via fatboiv)

colfersaurusrex:

it happened

me and my boyfriend we’re doin’ the dirty right

and he asked me, “wanna be on top?” as sensually as he could

and i laughed because tyra banks

and subsequently hurt his feelings

tyra my relationship is in shambles because of you

(via sidneyaustralia)

I helped my friend Hao a lot by helping him write his rap for his talent for snowball King to try and win the scholarship. You know, even though he didn’t win, I thought this was good and meaningful. 

Next time when you see an old lady crossing the street, or a little kid stealing himself a snickers treat, don’t look at them with despise and isolation, little do you know about their situation. 
Little do you know about their situation.
Why would I leave my city full of frustration, and not benefit the ones from the
younger generation.
Take a look at me and you see Asian boy with no troubles, in reality I came
from a city full of struggles.
I’m not your typical Asian model minority; I was raised by a family that lives in
poverty.
Free style but rehearsed, I’m here unrevised
You see me, aren’t you curious? could you suspect I came from a city that’s
notorious.
Step outside, hear gunshot, this is what my life brought, these Chinese
immigrant roots.
You say that Richmond is a city full violence; you judge us by the way media
portrays us, our struggles to overcome are silenced
Don’t judge us with despise and isolation, little do you know about my situation.

This is my city and my family but over time I developed a sense of immunity; ask
not what can my country can do for me, but what I can do for our community.
There’s a war zone that youth fights in, the Blood and the Crip with a family gangs
trying to fit in.
This is a battle for survival with us being each other’s rival.
You see… a kid came up to me with a gun to feed his hunger for power, little did
I realize at the time I coulda died within an hour.

Students are affiliated with little education; switch that gun to a pencil to increase their inspiration.

Little did they know that education & hope was the seam to pursue their
American dream.
Don’t look down at these kids with despise and isolation, little did you know
about their situation.
Kids grown up in a low resourced community, it’s a disadvantage and closed doors
for many opportunities
Despite all that, I still see hope, in those teachers and students not trying to smoke dope.
These are the people I respect the most, the ones who persevere with little knowledge 
of where to go.
I used to be a kid who didn’t speak no english, I walked and talked and got bullied for being foolish. 
but here i am saying these beats, coming from the streets.
i may fall down and then step off the ground, to change this place for whatever it takes.
go up so high just to fly, and head back down.
head around to see all the frowns, reach out a hand to help all of the downed.
give them the hope that they could never grope.
my life of mine to believe i could go so high, over here in a place that has become mine.
i’m here out of bounds, coming from other grounds.
speaking from the heart, just to speak about my faults.
to believe it’s my first time saying all of these rhymes.

When I was 5 my family and I went to walgreens. We were all browsing around, and my sister and I have always smacked each other really hard for fun just to hurt each other. So I decided to go behind my sister and smack her really really hard in the ass while she was looking for makeup. She turned around. It wasn’t my sister. Worst part was it one of my brother’s ex. 

I apologize that you weren’t my sister. 

I hate spending the Hollerdayz alone <.< 

But on the brightside, I got a phonecall from my dad this morning!